World Domination 101

Another job well done. Or not.

I have finally gone about updating my online resumé. I sent it to one of the more prominent but known-to-pay-below-industry-standard-wages call centers in the country, with my intentions of taking over the world being proclaimed to the high heavens. I don't think they're hiring, but I've got a few tricks up my over-sized sleeves.

To be honest, I'm really not looking forward to going back to the place that I so vehemently loathe. That explains my lackadaisical and utterly disinterested approach to job hunting. If it were up to me I'd prefer to keep sitting on my gluteus maximus, and continue scribbling down a few dollars off the Internet. But that voice inside my head keeps barking at me, telling me to get a life.

Anyway, low-paying-call-center hasn't called me yet, so I need to come up with a plan B. I want to continue writing for money, so I need to find a job that doesn't take too much of my time. I want to have some me time so I can keep tightening the noose that holds my sanity together around my neck. But what other ultra-glamorous job can I do, besides picking up the phone during the most unholy hours of the night while screaming imaginary invectives at those faceless nincompoops? I'm thinking I can:

keep writing and look for other online jobs, even though it'll take a while before I can make any reasonable income without having to glue myself to the computer.
apply for a job at a newspaper because I know how to ride a bicycle.
open my own computer shop. Oh wait, I did.
go back to school for a few years and take a job as a graphics designer.
take my guitar out from retirement and start a band. Again. Oh the groupies.
hunker down and invent perpetual energy and practical time travel.
buy a blow-up doll. That's just wrong on so many levels.
keep thinking about other bright ideas until it hurts.

I guess I'll have to go back to old proverbial drawing board. I'm gonna have to re-think my ingeniously sinister plot to take over the world. Time to start working on my evil laugh.

"Haha!"

I'll keep working on it.