A Darker Shade of Grey
Posted in feebility, infuriatum
I feel so ashamed of myself.
Last night, while the the rain playfully showered on everyone on the street, a woman got mugged a few yards from where I was standing. Hunched over, clutching an umbrella in one hand and a loaf of bread in the other, I stood frozen in the rain as the woman screamed for help.
I wanted to run towards her to help but I didn't. I just stood there, like a complete idiot.
The woman was sprawled on the street, pushed to the pavement by the devil himself. He looked no older than 17. From where I stood, it looked like he held the woman up at knife point, and took whatever it was that he took. But at that distance, I could not be certain if there actually was a weapon involved, although her screams of terror instinctively told me that he had to have had something life-threatening in his hands. My feet turned heavy as lead and I could not move a step.
Everything happened so fast. I watched as the perpetrator ran towards a particularly shady part of the neighborhood, which had a notorious reputation for being hideout to some of society's most heinous. The thought that the devil was my neighbor was enough reason for me to think of not getting involved. But I still feel sick to the stomach.
When it was all over, the woman stood up and walked past me, hobbling a little. As she passed she looked at me, and all my eyes could say to hers was "I'm sorry." Words deserted me at that very moment and all I had inside me was darkness.
I did nothing, and right now I am struggling to understand the difference between right and wrong. My morality is severely in question, and it turns out that I am my worst critic.
