Bitter Sweet Bitter Gourd
Posted in mundaneity, sad thoughts, subservience
I saw the Disney Pixar movie Cars the other day, and I recalled how rookie race car Lightning McQueen hit the brakes and stopped dead in his tracks just a few short feet from the finish line, in the last lap of the most important race of his life. Instead of going on to become the first ever rookie to win a Piston Cup, he shifted gears to reverse and went back to help The King, who had just crashed and spun out of the track. The life lesson here may be a bit juvenile, but that particular scene got me thinking: If that had happened to me, would I have done the same thing? What would the movie had been like if Lightning McQueen simply ignored The King's mangled chassis and continued racing towards victory? Would that have been a real victory?
I recently won my first "Piston Cup". In a class mostly consisting of call center virgins and registered nurses, I managed to achieve the honor of being class valedictorian. I aced most of the written exams and passed the oral assessments with flying colors. Sadly though, my "Piston Cup" story also came with its own version of "The King".
Last night, Zune CVG Wave 2 celebrated our last day of communication and culture training. The night was filled with fun, food and booze, and everybody seemed to have had a great time. But the celebration was tainted with sorrow, or at least it was for me. Everybody from our class will move on to product specific training on Monday, all except one.
Arleen, who was my partner during the latter stages of communication and culture training, failed to make the grade. She was a first-time call center trainee, and she was still struggling with her confidence and English communication skills. But she was determined, which is why it felt terribly sad to see her fail. It felt like part of her failure was my fault; that I had not been able to help her enough, being the tenured veteran that I am. Guilt found itself a tiny little nook inside my heart and I think it plans to stay there for a while.
If I could've only stopped before crossing the finish line like Lightning McQueen did, maybe I could have helped her. Hands down, this tops my list of bittersweet victories.
I wish I could've gone back and helped you.
