Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
Posted in subservience
This is another one of those moments when I find myself caught between a rock and a hard place, and all I could do right now is bury myself in tacky cliches and idiomatic expressions as a way of telling myself "I told you so!".
So here I am, again in an uncomfortably familiar situation. It's that time of the year when I once again look at my career options, and with the utmost disgust and self-loathing I go "Ugh, not again.". Things at work have gone from bad to just plain awful, and I am once again staring down that fork in the road. One path has a sign telling me to stay, while other one says go. To be honest I'm inclined to take the latter. I'd like to believe that I am not the kind of guy that just calls it quits when the going gets tough, but I honestly feel like l may no longer have a choice.
What I do at work is relatively easy, so it's not like I'm completely overwhelmed with stress and stuff. What bums me out - or should I say, one of the things that bum me out - is the repetitive nature of this business. Sure, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to explain why some old lady's cable bill went up this month, or why some sweaty perv can't watch their smutty adult pay-per-view, but to do it over, and over, and over, and over every single day can seriously burn one out. Maybe I just bore too easily, or that I'm simply a lazy old fat-ass that can't keep a job for longer than two years, but I think I've had it this time. Plus, it doesn't help that my boss is an absolute plant when it comes to motivating people and creating a fun and pleasant working environment.
So my boss isn't exactly everybody's favorite person in the office. She can sometimes be a bit overbearing and condescending, but I know she has a good heart. I understand that she's making an effort to be more people-friendly, at least that's what I've been told, but it might just be a tad too late for me now. Don't get me wrong, she is a very competent and knowledgeable team lead with years of call center experience. When it comes to company policies and the intricacies of call center management, she definitely knows her stuff. It's her people skills that bother me. Or, her utter lack of it. I know she means well, and she's probably gravely misunderstood by a lot of people, including yours truly, but I can't shake the feeling that the two of us just can't seem to get along professionally. But I'll take a big chunk of the blame on this one. I haven't exactly been around often enough for us to really develop a harmonious working relationship, with the sick leaves and hypertension and all.
Now I won't be a hypocrite and say that I have zero fault in all this. This is as much my shit as anyone else's. Okay, so maybe it is more my fault than anything. I'll even go on record and say that I am probably the worst agent a team lead could ever have. But shouldn't that be all the more reason for a team lead to take it upon himself to try and help this pathetic excuse of a human being? Come on, don't we all love a challenge every now and then? But hey, I won't pretend to know how to do your job. I don't want both of us to fail in all this.
But it's really not about allocating blame. I just want to get all this behind me and just look towards the future. Problem is, there isn't really much of a future to look forward to. Tell me, what does a college undergrad, who has worked for more than ten years of his life without a single penny in savings to show for himself, and by all standards is getting a little too old and sickly for the fast-paced call center lifestyle, going to do when he finally puts down and retires his headset? Fallback? I guess I must have called in sick too on the day they taught us the meaning of the word.
I could lose my job this Tuesday, so Wednesday ought to be a very interesting day for this tired old fool.
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| So what the fuck now? |
