The Confidence Pill  

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Are you part of the minority who shimmies along the sidelines because they're too shy to mingle with hip crowd? Do you often find yourself groping for words because you didn't know exactly what to say to her? Well stammer no more fellas, help is here.

From the manufacturers of the highly successful Composure Potion comes the next product in the line of medicinal miracles that are sure to change men's lives the world over.

The Confidence Pill combines the herbal benefits of sassinogen, taken from the roots of the Poise plant, with the andromorphic capabilities of Genie Ginseng. Taken once daily, The Confidence Pill eliminates areas of insecurities, such as those those embarrassing facial warts or that bent-out-of-whack scoliosis back. The Confidence Pill even provides better self-appreciation by expediting weight loss, and is even reported to have positive effects on pituitary functions, encouraging growth spurts when necessary.

Regular use of The Confidence Pill also improves mental capacity, unblocking mental blocks and completely eliminating awkward dead air. Frequent users of The Confidence Pill have experienced a sudden expansion of their vocabulary, and have gained the ability to speak more eloquently. Aside from correcting posture, The Confidence Pill also encourages regular eye contact, making it the perfect pre-interview formula.

Other side effects include improved athleticism and coordination, as well as loss of tone-deafness. Also try The Confidence Pill Plus which re-grows amputated limbs and restores vision, speech and hearing, as well as The Confidence Pill for Women, which removes post-natal insecurities and increases breast size while reducing dress size.

The Confidence Pill is made and distributed by Wishful Thinking Pharmaceuticals.

Need a picker-upper?

Small Talk  

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Well the rain is starting to fall again. Just like me.

Now we don't have to suffer through that mind-melting heat too much. It feels awfully good to see rain again after a really, really long while. It's like summer overstayed its welcome and decided to extend its stay in the country. With temperatures reaching a so-ridiculous-it-ain't-even-funny-anymore high of 38 degrees Celsius, I personally wouldn't mind a heavy downpour every now and then.

I just hope we don't have to go through another Ondoy.

What would my posts be if I were to stop talking about my half-hearted attempts at finding happiness? I met an old high school sweetie and just to keep with the weather analogies, she looked oh so effin' hot. To my surprise, she happened to be single. So I immediately made my move to uh... well I don't know what exactly my moves were but uhm... well she's awesome and I'm stammering again. In other words, my dreams went pfffffft one more time.

Better start talking about the weather again.

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Stories from the Simian Crease by Binchee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.
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