Uninspired. Will Write for Ideas.  

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Talk about writer's block.

I've been staring at the desktop screen for a good hour or so, trying to come up with sensible post, but all I have in my head are images of Nate Robinson wearing the Philippine National colors and Vanessa Hudgens singing naked in the shower.

I don't even like Vanessa Hudgens.

Blame the Internet. I was curious to see articles about notable Fil-Americans and Robinson's and Hudgens' names came up. Apparently, Nate Robinson (former NY Knick recently traded to the Boston Celtics) is 1/8th Filipino and enjoys lumpia; while Vanessa Hudgens (of the High School Musical fad) is part Filipina, part Chinese, part Irish, part American - basically a hodge-podge of cultures. And then there's also this scandalous nude photo of her online that I can't close just yet. Of course, I can't post it here so stop looking for a link.

So, instead of writing about something interesting tonight, I'll settle for splattering mundaneity over this post. It's nearing 5AM and I can't wait for breakfast. What a complete waste of Internet space.
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Well, I better get started on work.

Paranormal Monkey Banter  

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I don't believe in ghosts.

At least, that's how I'd want my grand kids to remember me. I'm taking a quick break to write about my creepy encounter from beyond the grave. I'm pretty sure there's a perfectly sane and scientific explanation to all the shenanigans that's been going on during the wee hours when I'm working late, but it's always fun to scare the living daylights out of my eye sockets.

So back to my story. Our old nanny, Nana Choleng, passed away a couple of years ago. In the last few months before she was hospitalized and eventually taken up to that great big hotdog stand in the sky, Nana Choleng suffered from an uncontrollable bladder. It was involuntary, and she had absolutely no control over her urinary habits. So as disgusting as it may sound to all of you, she would often end up smelling funny. Even with adult diapers, I had unfortunately and regrettably associated her with the smell of eu de pee.

So these last few days, I kept finding myself all alone during the wee hours of the night because I had to stay up to try and make a deadline. In the dead of the night I would suddenly smell that foul odor that for me was unmistakably Nana Choleng. So I continue writing even when all the hair on my arms and on the back of my neck stood up like an erection. That smell kept haunting me each night, and sometimes even during the day. I told my mother about it and she apparently has had her share of paranormal olfactory experiences too. What's more is that we both would sometimes smell the scent of burnt rice in the middle of the night, which Nana Choleng had an unexplainable habit of doing. So Mom and I just resigned to the thought that our Nana Choleng's been dropping in on us every now and then to see how we were doing. But if she appears in a cloud of smoke while floating towards me menacingly I swear I'm sticking my head in the ground like an ostrich having a heart attack.

Maybe it's just my wild imagination, or maybe there's a drunken monkey loose in the neighborhood that has a nasty habit of peeing on the side of our house every night. Whatever this might be, I'm thinking it may just be my creepy way of saying that I miss Nana Choleng.

Like I said, I don't believe in ghosts.

She's in a much better place now.

Blog Break Number 2  

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Okay, so I find myself pulling another all-nighter.

Before I dive back in to work, I'm taking a quick blog break. Spit my mind out, so to speak. To be honest, this hiatus isn't working out so well for me. Sure, I've been sitting on my ass for the last 2 months or so, but I feel like something's missing. What's missing? It starts with "Php" and is followed by a bunch of zeros at the end. Yeah, I miss the mundane trappings of a subservient existence. That's because that subservient existence brought food to the table. But then again, it's that same subservient existence that made me sick enough to call it quits in the first place. There's a pickle for you.

So I just tell myself to suck it up, and get on with the show.

Being cooped up in the house has really done a number on my thought train. It's like somebody shoved a cork down the idea pipe, and i'm struggling to find things to write about. Yeah, I can still spell "stifled creativity". Speaking of being creative, I'm gonna have to find ways to bring in the dough or else Mom will have to kick me out of the house. I'm too pretty to be a hobo.

I really can't get over how my computer kept breaking down this month. It must've thought it was going to be replaced by a brand spanking new laptop, so it decided to retire. Sadly, the laptop never materialized, but the stupid machine retired anyway. So now I'm reduced to using this old junker from my computer shop. This one's as slow as molasses. If you happen to be a sweet generous angel, who has no problems giving away a MacBook Air, smile my way please?

Anyway, break time's up. Time to take a nosedive.

Of course I'd settle for something cheaper.

Talk, Text then Forfeit  

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Okay so I was working when I got distracted by the PBA. It was Game 4 of the quarterfinals between Barangay Ginebra Kings and Talk 'n Text Tropang Texters. By now the entire Philippine digital sports world must be abuzz with recollections of how TNT walked out on BGK.

Yep, another walkout in the PBA occurred today.

It happened at the final 1 minute mark of the first quarter. Ronald Tubid was driving down the baseline when Ranidel de Ocampo went up to block the shot. Officials called a flagrant foul penalty 2 on de Ocampo, which for TNT coach Chot Reyes, was the final straw. He looked over at some TNT officials who were watching in the crowd and seemingly got a thumbs up to call it quits. Next thing you know the entire TNT team, coaching staff, everybody, was heading towards the locker room in an act of protest to the officiating.

First of all, I must warn you. If you are a BGK fan, particularly a Ronald Tubid fan, get the hell out of here. I hate Ronald Tubid. I hate his guts. I hate his stupid kiss mark tattoo. I mean, what is this guy trying to prove? He's a better bully than a basketball player. Is it not enough to be a good player nowadays, that one has to resort to indecent and arguably disgusting tactics in order to gain marketability? I guess in Mr. Tubid's case, it is clearly not. Sure he can play. I mean, the man's got talent I'll give him that. But he ain't no star. Whatever talent he has gets lost in all his antics. If you were in his shoes, would you want to go down in history as the most hated player of all time?

I'm not even a TNT fan. I know basketball is a contact sport. Hey, I'm not asking them to wear tutu's or hug every time down the court, no. That's for women's basketball. All I'm asking is for Mr. Tubid to tone down his physicality.

Who am I kidding? Mr. Tubid, please turn in your resignation. Better yet, get yourself injured.

Looking at the replays, de Ocampo did hit Tubid above the shoulders, which is grounds for a flagrant foul penalty 2. It was also seen in the replays that de Ocampo was going for the ball, and would have gotten to it had Tubid not moved the ball away and placed his head in striking distance of de Ocampo's arm. The resulting action saw Tubid acting out his next Oscar award. What a chump.

While I do not agree with Chot Reyes' decision to walk out of a PBA game, which is unfair to the league and to the paying public, I share his sentiment. All throughout the series the calls have been making no sense. During the post-game interview Reyes cited statistics showing that BGK have been getting on the free-throw line more often than TNT, despite the fact that BGK have been taking their shots mostly from the outside. How do you get fouled if you keep taking outside jumpers? TNT on the other hand, have had more attempts close to the basket, but have gotten a considerably low number of free-throw attempts. I'm sorry, but the naive, die-hard San Miguel Beer fan in me is starting to think there's substance to the urban myth that even the PBA games can get fixed. What is this world coming to?

Anyway, updates regarding this incident will surely fill the news stands tomorrow, especially after PBA Commissioner Sonny Barrios meets with the TNT management tomorrow at 2PM. This is truly a dark moment in PBA history.

Photo taken from PBA Online

The B.E.S.T. Workshop  

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Well that went well.

It's been one heck of a ride for me these past few weeks. First, my computer blows up. Then a few days later the sick bug decides to land on me. It must have been more like, I swallowed the sick bug because it got my throat. I had a really nasty case of sore throat, accompanied by the usual fever and stuff. It was horrible. Drinking water was like shoveling broken glass down my throat. Imagine what taking all those pills felt like.

Anyway, now that I am back from the dead I can start writing again. After all, the dirty hobo inside me says writing is my passion. He's the only guy who gets my shit, though. So what have I come here to write about? A word from our sponsors. Yes. Every now and then I come up with blog posts that really do mean something. You might want to pay attention to this one.

I am inviting all of you budding entrepreneurs out there, to decipher the code behind success in entrepreneurship. Sure you can spell it right, but can you be successful at it?

Speaking of spells...

BizWiz Resources is holding a 2-day seminar on entrepreneurship, which focuses on "demystifying entrepreneurship" with basic entrepreneurial attitudes and skills, such as goal-orientation, perseverance, creative thinking, and teamwork. The seminar is called B.E.S.T., or Basic Entrepreneur Skills Training Workshop, and it will be held on Feb 27 and 28, 2010, from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM, at the SMX Convention Center (Meeting Room 10), SM Mall of Asia. It promises to help young confounded apprentices unravel the mystery behind entrepreneurship by conjuring up a workshop seminar that is both fun and highly educational. It's a virtual chamber of entrepreneurial secrets. Alright enough with the wizard speak.

Interested parties may procure tickets from all TicketNet outlets located at all SM Customer Service Centers. For inquiries and reservations, please call TicketNet at tel. no. 911-5555, or visit www.ticketnet.com.ph. You may also contact BizWiz Resources at tel. nos. 830-0205 loc. 11, or 812-2977; or send an email to info@bizwizresources.com or marketing@bizwizresources.com. Don't miss out on an opportunity, join the B.E.S.T. Workshop, and see the magic for yourself.

Muggles are encouraged to join in the fun!

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Stories from the Simian Crease by Binchee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.
Based on a work at binchee.blogspot.com