I Want to Write the Best Darn Blog the World Has Ever Seen...

...but i'm too darn tired to think right now!

Okay so I got my arm repeatedly punctured by inked needles again today. It's almost done and I'm happy with the tattoo, but I swear my tattoo artist Wai is gonna be the last man I'll allow to hurt me like this! I'm ignoring the fact that the previous sentence sounded so gay.

I rendered 4 hours of rest day OT. Yes, you read it right. I went to work on my day off. I still can't believe I used those words in a way that actually made sense. Go figure.

My last remaining grandmother Lola Isabel "Abe" Ignacio Gabriel met her Master last week. She lived a full 91 years before God decided it was time for her to move on to better days. Please don't start singing. Moving forward.

I stayed at my cousin's house in Bulacan for 2 days, and I'm sorry if this sounds rather insensitive, but I don't think I could've lasted another day without cable or the internet. I mean, I had thought about living the simple life until I realized I needed to change the way I define "simple".

Lola Abe's passing hit Mom the hardest. I realized how alone Mom must feel right now. With both her parents and two sisters gone, her aunt (my Lola) Abe's passing must've devastated her. I wonder if I would be as strong as her when it's my turn to suffer a tragic loss in the family. Dark thoughts, I know. But it's inevitable.

I was heading home tonight and I took a cab again, thereby negating my new year's resolution to abstain from the daily cab rides that cut a huge chunk out of my finances. I wasn't paying too much attention to the cab driver as usual, the snotty self-praising prick that I am, when I thought I noticed him pointing at something with his left hand on the wheel. Naturally, I turned my head in the direction he was pointing at. Nothing out of the ordinary I thought, so I ignored it. Then he did it a few more times, without saying a word. Nearly irritated, I was just about to ask him what it was that he kept pointing at when I realized he had polio and that pointing thing that he kept doing with his left hand was involuntary. So I kept my mouth shut and just respected the fact that he had a decent job despite his disability.

And oh, I saw that old nasty ghost in the office again last week. I really hate that b*tch. Oops, there goes that word again.

Well, I think I've just about run out of mental acuity for tonight, and before I start typing gibberish I'm gonna end this post with a very meaningful thought: Life is sexually transmitted. I don't know why I said that, really. Good night folks!

0 comments »

Ghosts

Posted in infuriatum, patheticism, subservience

I saw an old ghost in the office today. It was somebody who made a certain chapter of my life extremely miserable. She was the person who taught me how to hate. I know the hatchet should've been buried ages ago, but the friggin' hatchet seems to resurface every effing time I see that b*tch. And when I saw her today my heart started pounding for all the wrong reasons. No, I don't need an anger management class. At least, I don't think I do. I know she does. I mean, is she effing psycho or something? I don't wanna delve into the details of that hell that she put me through, but man, memories of what she did and how inexplicably evil she was torment me to this day. I swear she's like the devil's secretary or something. Gotta be.

I want to believe that all has been forgiven but I can only speak for myself.

You see, before this entire predicament came to be we were actually pretty good friends (or at least I thought we were). I personally think she hasn't forgotten about it. Not that I did anything wrong, mind you. She just has this personality, the kind that would go ballistic over the smallest of reasons.

I have never been one to keep grudges but for her I'd probably make an exception.

I'm not proud of the fact that I have finally learned to hate someone so much - I think I'm merely reassuring myself that I am human and I feel emotions just like every other Dick and Tracy. In fact, I feel some degree of remorse whenever I sense the anger in me rising to the surface.

I've talked about how much I hate hating people before, and i still do. I know I used a pretty strong word too many times in this entry - hate - but I just can't think of a synonym for it that matches the word's intensity or the ill-feeling that I have right now.

I still hope that someday this will all go away and I'll be able to get a good laugh out of this whole experience. But for now I'll dwell in this misery and enjoy plotting a revenge that will most probably never happen. Maybe I do need an anger management class. Somebody get me some Valium.