Vomiting Headsets All Over Again  

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Six years ago I told myself and some of my friends who tried to talk me into it that I would never get into the call center business. I knew all the graveyard shifts would eventually take a toll on one's health, I thought it wasn't worth the shit I'd get from all those frustrated and irate son-of-a-bitches. So I ventured into the insurance business. I sold insurance policies to every sucker who would listen. We'd all die in the end anyway, right? So you might as well be prepared to leave something behind for those who depend on you. A noble job, I thought. Then I realized I wasn't built to sell (especially since my selling point then was to tell my clients they would die sooner or later), so I quit. At that time, my heart was really into music. I joined a band, and took it as a career. Unfortunately it didn't pay too well. So I put down my guitar and walked away. I needed the money. So I closed my eyes and bit the bullet.

Here I am now, five years later, wallowing in the pits of the very business I so despised. I had to take on the opportunity back then because I needed a respectable source of income, and because I knew I had the tools to do good in this line of work. I told myself, how hard could it be to talk to some dumb-ass over the phone and get paid big money doing it? After all, I did go to school and learned how to speak English. So on my first serious attempt I got a job at one of the leading call centers back then, and signed my contract on the very same day. I bent my principles and reluctantly conformed to society.

It wasn't all that bad at first. In fact, I met some of my best friends at that first call center that I worked for. I still consider them my family to this very day. It was really great because I was proud that I was getting a five-digit salary despite being a college undergraduate. I literally never took my company ID off if could keep it on. I wore it like a medal.

Things got a little complicated and I realized I needed more. I thought I wasn't getting paid enough to do my job. Don't criticize me, all those hypocrites among you, its human nature to ask for more. There is no such thing as contentment. So to cut the long story short I allowed myself to be pirated by another call center for a much more desirable salary. So again, it went great. I met more friends, learned new stuff and of course I was getting paid more.

Then the whole thing turned into a vicious cycle. I found myself wanting more and getting more and more disgruntled with the repetitiveness of the job. To be honest, it became really boring. No longer did I have that zeal to come to work because I knew I was good at it. I struggled to find reasons to drag my feet out of bed and go to the office. It was a never-ending nightmare.

I'm in my fifth call center and again I find myself dissatisfied with how things are going. I am so sick and tired of what I've been doing the last five years. Sure, I'm still getting paid a huge amount of money. But I was right. All those graveyard shifts are finally getting to me. I've become so depressed and my health has deteriorated exponentially. I wish my weight did too, but it never really helped to be sitting 8 hours a day and being too tired when you get home to do any exercise. I know I can't blame the industry entirely for what I've become, but if I am to turn my life around I have to find a way out.

On the other hand, I still need the job. Sure, I started a small business of my own, and despite my grievances towards the industry I know I still owe it gratitude. But a small computer shop wouldn't net as much as what I'm earning right now. Ergo, the root of my frustration.

For the longest time I've wanted to turn in my headsets and retire from this accursed redundancy, but I never could. I'm a tormented and desperate soul looking for salvation. Somebody please give me some Valium.

So here I am again venting. Venting's all I could do for now. Now if I only had some C4 and a build-your-own bomb kit...

San ba kasi nakakabili ng motivation?

11 comments

nice post dre! motivation? hhmmm...isn't that we define bills (Phone bills, electric bills etc)as motivation? kasi ako aside from family un din motivation ko eh lalo na pag nakikita ko na! hahaha...

it feels like i HAVE to work because of those darn bills. that's not motivation. that's forcing myself to work. minsan kasi "motivation" is not the same as "reason to work". basta, mahirap ispelengin eh. family? sure. its not like i have kids of my own naman eh.

and i couldn't have written it any better. hindi lang pala ako ang nakakaramdam ng pagka-bogaloids sa araw-araw na buwakanginang pagpasok. my only consolation: day shift na ko next week. yes, amma bragging. nyahahaha!

smotivation? sa tindahan ni aling nena. harhar!

naubusan daw si aling nena eh, hehe. sige mang-inggit ka, morning-shifter. get me out of jail pag abogado ka na mr. CPA hehe.

can i copy this in my blog? lol. same here binchee, nde ka nag-iisa *cue: Darna theme*

haha darna-hime. sure, copy it. i'm honestly and pleasantly surprised by the reader reactions. it feels great to air out my sentiments.

*darna-hime springs into action: "beanskie! ang bato!"*

I used to feel the same way. I was so stressed and emotionally drained, in all my 6 years in the biz I never found the motivation I was longing for. It was as if God threw me to Hell and let me suffer the consequences of getting paid big bucks. I dragged myself to go work on a daily basis, hoping that I could find reasons to leave the call center industry, to no avail. It was an addiction and I couldn't find a way out. I tried taking months of rest, reassessed myself if this is the career I really wanted and still seeing myself stumbling back.

Anyway, after so many years of finding my way out, finally I took the chance and jumped into the hollow pit without expecting anything, and now, I'm free.

As an advice, try not to look for answers, just jumped into an opportunity when you see it.

(haba ng kwento ko)

Thanks Jeck. I dunno if there are any hollow pits like yours stumbling my way, but I'll definitely be on the lookout for that opportunity.

abang abang lang bro....

I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement

uh, thanks anonymous. funny, i usually try to put in images to compensate for my writing style.

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Stories from the Simian Crease by Binchee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.
Based on a work at binchee.blogspot.com