I Want to Write the Best Darn Blog the World Has Ever Seen...

...but i'm too darn tired to think right now!

Okay so I got my arm repeatedly punctured by inked needles again today. It's almost done and I'm happy with the tattoo, but I swear my tattoo artist Wai is gonna be the last man I'll allow to hurt me like this! I'm ignoring the fact that the previous sentence sounded so gay.

I rendered 4 hours of rest day OT. Yes, you read it right. I went to work on my day off. I still can't believe I used those words in a way that actually made sense. Go figure.

My last remaining grandmother Lola Isabel "Abe" Ignacio Gabriel met her Master last week. She lived a full 91 years before God decided it was time for her to move on to better days. Please don't start singing. Moving forward.

I stayed at my cousin's house in Bulacan for 2 days, and I'm sorry if this sounds rather insensitive, but I don't think I could've lasted another day without cable or the internet. I mean, I had thought about living the simple life until I realized I needed to change the way I define "simple".

Lola Abe's passing hit Mom the hardest. I realized how alone Mom must feel right now. With both her parents and two sisters gone, her aunt (my Lola) Abe's passing must've devastated her. I wonder if I would be as strong as her when it's my turn to suffer a tragic loss in the family. Dark thoughts, I know. But it's inevitable.

I was heading home tonight and I took a cab again, thereby negating my new year's resolution to abstain from the daily cab rides that cut a huge chunk out of my finances. I wasn't paying too much attention to the cab driver as usual, the snotty self-praising prick that I am, when I thought I noticed him pointing at something with his left hand on the wheel. Naturally, I turned my head in the direction he was pointing at. Nothing out of the ordinary I thought, so I ignored it. Then he did it a few more times, without saying a word. Nearly irritated, I was just about to ask him what it was that he kept pointing at when I realized he had polio and that pointing thing that he kept doing with his left hand was involuntary. So I kept my mouth shut and just respected the fact that he had a decent job despite his disability.

And oh, I saw that old nasty ghost in the office again last week. I really hate that b*tch. Oops, there goes that word again.

Well, I think I've just about run out of mental acuity for tonight, and before I start typing gibberish I'm gonna end this post with a very meaningful thought: Life is sexually transmitted. I don't know why I said that, really. Good night folks!

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Ghosts

Posted in infuriatum, patheticism, subservience

I saw an old ghost in the office today. It was somebody who made a certain chapter of my life extremely miserable. She was the person who taught me how to hate. I know the hatchet should've been buried ages ago, but the friggin' hatchet seems to resurface every effing time I see that b*tch. And when I saw her today my heart started pounding for all the wrong reasons. No, I don't need an anger management class. At least, I don't think I do. I know she does. I mean, is she effing psycho or something? I don't wanna delve into the details of that hell that she put me through, but man, memories of what she did and how inexplicably evil she was torment me to this day. I swear she's like the devil's secretary or something. Gotta be.

I want to believe that all has been forgiven but I can only speak for myself.

You see, before this entire predicament came to be we were actually pretty good friends (or at least I thought we were). I personally think she hasn't forgotten about it. Not that I did anything wrong, mind you. She just has this personality, the kind that would go ballistic over the smallest of reasons.

I have never been one to keep grudges but for her I'd probably make an exception.

I'm not proud of the fact that I have finally learned to hate someone so much - I think I'm merely reassuring myself that I am human and I feel emotions just like every other Dick and Tracy. In fact, I feel some degree of remorse whenever I sense the anger in me rising to the surface.

I've talked about how much I hate hating people before, and i still do. I know I used a pretty strong word too many times in this entry - hate - but I just can't think of a synonym for it that matches the word's intensity or the ill-feeling that I have right now.

I still hope that someday this will all go away and I'll be able to get a good laugh out of this whole experience. But for now I'll dwell in this misery and enjoy plotting a revenge that will most probably never happen. Maybe I do need an anger management class. Somebody get me some Valium.

When they said she slept around they weren't kidding.

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Ninja Blog

Posted in mundaneity, patheticism, subservience

It's the last day of the week for us at work, and i thought I'd drop by my blog page at Multiply. So I called in a ninja to help me make it past IT's security. The mighty Ninja Wuxi does it again.

I'm at work right now and it's been ages since I last wrote while at work. I used to be able to blog any time I wanted when I was still working in Ortigas as part of our Marketing team. Now I've been reduced to hunting ninjas in order to be able access certain websites. Oh well.

For the longest time I've been aching to write something interesting but all the thoughts in my head seem to bore even me - though some thoughts are best kept to myself.

We're gonna start taking the day shift on Tuesday. About time they changed our schedules. Looks like I'm gonna stay in this company a little bit longer after all.

I lost P1,300 this week. Don't ask me, ask her.

I know cynicism does not suit me, but I'll know for sure once I find out what cynicism really means.

I miss my old friends. I saw pictures of my old high school buddies over at Facebook and they had a mini-reunion last Saturday. I actually have 2 sets of high school friends. You see, I spent the first 2 years of high school at a private school in Parañaque and the last 2 years at a public high school in Manila. Those guys at Facebook are my friends from Parañaque. My other high school friends from Manila actually setup our own social networking site exclusively for our high school's alumni. When I joined I was glad to see all those old friends at school. They all seem to be living the good life, which is really great. A lot of them had their own families now. It really felt great seeing them again, even if it was just on the Internet.

Things at home are doing pretty good too. My brother got his own PC, and his trumped mine in terms of specifications. Oh well, at least I didn't have to pay for it this time.

As 2008 ends, I would just like to say this to anybody who took time to read my blog: Expect a 2009 full of ups and downs. If 2008 was any indication, 2009 promises to show more thrills and spills, more heartbreaks and more opportunities to look forward to. I wish you all a happy new year, and Bob - save that last bottle for me.

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Old Notes To Self

Posted in mundaneity, patheticism, subservience

This is one of my older rants posted earlier this year. With everything that's been happening at work lately, I feel that there's a need to re-post this to remind myself not to give up. But then again I'm screaming too loud on the inside to hear myself say it.

An "Aha!" Moment (June 17, 2008)

So here's the 411. I recently quit/lost my job, but I was lucky enough to find a new one. The thing about it is I had to swallow a few ounces of pride and accept the position offered to me despite the fact that I had to go back to the phones again; sort of my own personal demotion, so to speak. In other words, I had been feeling a little depressed and disgruntled these past few weeks and my ego was a shot away from being crushed. But I am still grateful, and I'll tell you why.

Today as I was on my way home from training, a man got on the bus I was riding in and started talking to anyone who would listen about the issues they've been having with the bus company that they've been working for. Apparently, the guy was some sort of union leader and he explained how the management of the bus company had deprived them of certain benefits such as vacation leaves and their 13th month pay. He also explained that the management did not abide by the terms of their CBA or Collective Bargaining Agreement, so their workers' union decided to go on strike. He asked for some financial assistance from all of the passengers on the bus, and he seemed like he would get on as many buses as he possibly could just to be able to convey their union's message and earn some sympathy. He said the money they would collect would be used to keep their strike going in order to fight their company's oppression. I saw how passionate and sincere this man was with his cause. In fact, I actually gave the guy some change (which I don't normally do, being the tightwad that I am) to help their cause despite the fact that I had barely enough money for me just to be able to get home. That's when I realized how lucky I was to be able to receive not only a fairly competitive wage but also a decent compensation and benefits package from this new company that I work for. I know its not much to brag about, but hey - at least I am still able to feed my family.

I'm sure many of us have had the same woeful dread of waking up on a Monday and agonizingly dragging our feet to the office. I say this because in the last few years that I have been part of this industry, I have met a lot of people and, let's just say that some of them aren't exactly jumping for joy with what they do for a living. I've also had my share of grievances before. In fact, I learned the definition of the word "disgruntled" from all of the issues that I've had with Management, HR or Payroll. This afternoon's experience just made me think twice about complaining excessively about how miserable my career has been, simply because in more ways than one, I am still fortunate.

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