The Confidence Pill

Posted in feebility

Are you part of the minority who shimmies along the sidelines because they're too shy to mingle with hip crowd? Do you often find yourself groping for words because you didn't know exactly what to say to her? Well stammer no more fellas, help is here.

From the manufacturers of the highly successful Composure Potion comes the next product in the line of medicinal miracles that are sure to change men's lives the world over.

The Confidence Pill combines the herbal benefits of sassinogen, taken from the roots of the Poise plant, with the andromorphic capabilities of Genie Ginseng. Taken once daily, The Confidence Pill eliminates areas of insecurities, such as those those embarrassing facial warts or that bent-out-of-whack scoliosis back. The Confidence Pill even provides better self-appreciation by expediting weight loss, and is even reported to have positive effects on pituitary functions, encouraging growth spurts when necessary.

Regular use of The Confidence Pill also improves mental capacity, unblocking mental blocks and completely eliminating awkward dead air. Frequent users of The Confidence Pill have experienced a sudden expansion of their vocabulary, and have gained the ability to speak more eloquently. Aside from correcting posture, The Confidence Pill also encourages regular eye contact, making it the perfect pre-interview formula.

Other side effects include improved athleticism and coordination, as well as loss of tone-deafness. Also try The Confidence Pill Plus which re-grows amputated limbs and restores vision, speech and hearing, as well as The Confidence Pill for Women, which removes post-natal insecurities and increases breast size while reducing dress size.

The Confidence Pill is made and distributed by Wishful Thinking Pharmaceuticals.

Need a picker-upper?

2 comments »

Small Talk

Posted in patheticism

Well the rain is starting to fall again. Just like me.

Now we don't have to suffer through that mind-melting heat too much. It feels awfully good to see rain again after a really, really long while. It's like summer overstayed its welcome and decided to extend its stay in the country. With temperatures reaching a so-ridiculous-it-ain't-even-funny-anymore high of 38 degrees Celsius, I personally wouldn't mind a heavy downpour every now and then.

I just hope we don't have to go through another Ondoy.

What would my posts be if I were to stop talking about my half-hearted attempts at finding happiness? I met an old high school sweetie and just to keep with the weather analogies, she looked oh so effin' hot. To my surprise, she happened to be single. So I immediately made my move to uh... well I don't know what exactly my moves were but uhm... well she's awesome and I'm stammering again. In other words, my dreams went pfffffft one more time.

Better start talking about the weather again.

3 comments »

A Class Like No Other

Posted in feebility, mundaneity

If you ask me, I think last night's reunion was a rousing success.

Despite the low turnout, those who did make it to the reunion had a wonderful time seeing old friends and making new ones. The Ramon Magsaysay High School Class of 1996 held a special reunion event at the Aquasphere in Malate, and I got to see some of the old familiar faces that I used to see everyday at school. So much has changed in the last decade or so, but it was nice to see that the friendships that were forged nearly 15 years ago still stand strong even to this day.

Kudos to the organizers of the event, headed by Marc Mendoza, for putting together a very successful get-together.

I will be the first to admit that I never knew some of the attendees, owing to the fact that I was only a transfer student back in our junior year. But those last two years that I spent at Ramon Magsaysay High School were undoubtedly the best years I've spent in high school.

At last night's reunion, there were plenty of food and drinks. Souvenir shirts were also given out to those who came. The organizers rented out the pool table and the swimming pool, although only a few decided to actually bring swim gear. I didn't, but I sure wished I did when I saw the guys cooling off in the pool. This heat is just terrible. But I digress.

As far as names go, here is my feeble attempt at remembering them. Just from the top of my head, some of the attendees included: Mercy Flores, Jocelyn Jordan, Alan Reveche, John Madrigal, Felix Awayang, Niño Aguinaldo, Jun Quintero, Mary Grace Camarines, Cherry Asia, Edward Teraña, Raymond delos Santos, Normita Pangan, Elaisa Aguilar, John Henry Lim, and Michael Liguit. Sorry, I'm terrible with faces and much worse at remembering names. The old noodle's not as reliable as it used to be.

I sincerely had a great time last night, and here's hoping for another successful reunion in the near future. Cheers!

RMHS Class of '96. Well, at least some of them.

7 comments »

Party of One

Posted in mundaneity

Sometimes living in the past can be a real bummer.

I ran into Noel, an old friend who I knew way back, and because these days the term "running into" can mean finding someone on the Internet, we chatted about the good old days. We were co-workers at one of the leading video stores in the 90s. Yeah I know, video rentals died when piracy was born. But back then I had what was arguably the best job ever.

I mean, we were getting paid just to stand around and dust off old laser discs and VHS tapes. Back then money had real value, I had a more aesthetically pleasant figure, and I was working with friends who smoked and partied with me nearly every effin' day of the week. No kidding man, it was like "Hey wanna go out and party?", and I was all "Oh yeah sure let's go!". Life was just so much easier back then.

So running (virtually) into Noel brought back old memories about that part of my life. Then I think about today and I felt pretty bad about how I turned out. Back in those days my life was the ultimate party. The nights, the sounds, the women - my life back then was nothing short of a really good orgasm. But all that's in the past, like dust swept and shoved under the carpet. Today I'm a single grown man living with his mother (which in the Philippines isn't so bad), living off a meager call center wager (which I do not have right now), watching in the sidelines as the people who I grew up with fly off to different countries all over the world, or talk about their latest gadgets or business ventures on Facebook.

I'm still a nobody.

This is the point in one's life where you simply have to kick back and look at where you're standing, and decide on what you want to do next. I dunno about you guys, but I know what I want to do.

I want to party!