Can't What Now!?
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Well, that's my excuse.
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Well, that's my excuse.
The Hunger Pains
Posted in mundaneity, rantings
God I missed this.
It's been quite a while since I last wrote, owing largely to the fact that there wasn't really much to write about; nothing I would personally consider publish-worthy at least. But for those who care, I've recently quit my job for reasons I am not at liberty to publicly discuss. Besides, I'm sick of talking about it anyway. And I've been happily bumming around ever since, although that empty wallet in my back pocket and this growling stomach hints at another life of humdrum subservience in my very near future.
Anyway, I've picked up on an old habit. I have started reading again. I figured, since JK Rowling's new book isn't coming out any time soon, and I haven't illegally obtained my copy of Dan Brown's latest page-flipper yet - a situation which will shortly be corrected - I decided to run my fingers through the virtual pages of Suzanne Collin's hit in PDF format, The Hunger Games.
Truth be told, If I could put the book down I would, but I couldn't. Not because I'm enthralled by the fast-paced action the book has to offer, but for a less thrilling reason: I just have to see it through to the end. That doesn't mean I like the book, in fact I would describe my feelings towards it as somewhere between slightly amused to utterly revolted.
You see, I hated the Twilight saga with a passion even before I read a single word of it. Judgmental as it is, I've seen plenty of movie trailers and read enough book reviews to know that "the saga" is just oozing with something I'm not too fond of - teen romance. I see Twilight as the unholy spawn of Underworld and Sweet Valley High. Yakfest written all over it. All you little girls out there may hate me now, but you'll thank me when you get older and eventually grow out of your teeny werewolf fantasies.
So when I started reading The Hunger Games, I was at a point then where I had little to no expectations about this particular trilogy. Big mistake. From the odd little bits of information I've gathered, The Hunger Games was supposedly a story about survival, and fighting against oppression. And yes, it was. What I didn't expect was that the whole action-adventure scheme revolved around a sappy love triangle between sixteen year-olds. I mean, everything draws from how the heroine, Katniss Everdeen, struggles to find direction, and a sense of certainty about how she felt towards two strapping young dudes, Peeta and Gale.
First of all, who gives names such as Peeta, Haymitch, or Cinna to their kids? And to be honest, reading the whole thing feels like reading Katniss' diary because it is written from a first-person perspective, thus spewing heart-stopping lines such as:
Impulsively, I lean forward and kiss him, stopping his words. This is probably overdue since he's right, we are supposed to be madly in love. It's the first time I've ever kissed a boy, which should make some sort of impression I guess, but all I can register is how unnaturally hot his lips are from the fever.
For crying out loud! They were in a fight for their lives, and the boy had a freakin' fever! And Suzanne Collins thought it was obviously the perfect time for a first kiss. This more or less confirmed my suspicion that The Hunger Games was nothing more than a teen romance novel cleverly disguised as an action flick. This might be one of the few times I'll ever like the movie more than I liked the book.
For those who loved the book though, I offer my sincerest apologies for my rant. Don't get me wrong, The Hunger Games does make for good reading, but it doesn't place high in my top ten list of reads. I'd sooner wipe my ass with it if it weren't in PDF format, and I know I'd look stupid wiping my derriere with my phone or my laptop. But as I said, I'll give it a fair shake and I'll read it all the way through to book 3, Mockingjay. Who knows? I might even like it. I'll just be ready with my barf bag for now I guess.
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| Oh God they're kissing again! |
Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
Posted in subservience
This is another one of those moments when I find myself caught between a rock and a hard place, and all I could do right now is bury myself in tacky cliches and idiomatic expressions as a way of telling myself "I told you so!".
So here I am, again in an uncomfortably familiar situation. It's that time of the year when I once again look at my career options, and with the utmost disgust and self-loathing I go "Ugh, not again.". Things at work have gone from bad to just plain awful, and I am once again staring down that fork in the road. One path has a sign telling me to stay, while other one says go. To be honest I'm inclined to take the latter. I'd like to believe that I am not the kind of guy that just calls it quits when the going gets tough, but I honestly feel like l may no longer have a choice.
What I do at work is relatively easy, so it's not like I'm completely overwhelmed with stress and stuff. What bums me out - or should I say, one of the things that bum me out - is the repetitive nature of this business. Sure, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to explain why some old lady's cable bill went up this month, or why some sweaty perv can't watch their smutty adult pay-per-view, but to do it over, and over, and over, and over every single day can seriously burn one out. Maybe I just bore too easily, or that I'm simply a lazy old fat-ass that can't keep a job for longer than two years, but I think I've had it this time. Plus, it doesn't help that my boss is an absolute plant when it comes to motivating people and creating a fun and pleasant working environment.
So my boss isn't exactly everybody's favorite person in the office. She can sometimes be a bit overbearing and condescending, but I know she has a good heart. I understand that she's making an effort to be more people-friendly, at least that's what I've been told, but it might just be a tad too late for me now. Don't get me wrong, she is a very competent and knowledgeable team lead with years of call center experience. When it comes to company policies and the intricacies of call center management, she definitely knows her stuff. It's her people skills that bother me. Or, her utter lack of it. I know she means well, and she's probably gravely misunderstood by a lot of people, including yours truly, but I can't shake the feeling that the two of us just can't seem to get along professionally. But I'll take a big chunk of the blame on this one. I haven't exactly been around often enough for us to really develop a harmonious working relationship, with the sick leaves and hypertension and all.
Now I won't be a hypocrite and say that I have zero fault in all this. This is as much my shit as anyone else's. Okay, so maybe it is more my fault than anything. I'll even go on record and say that I am probably the worst agent a team lead could ever have. But shouldn't that be all the more reason for a team lead to take it upon himself to try and help this pathetic excuse of a human being? Come on, don't we all love a challenge every now and then? But hey, I won't pretend to know how to do your job. I don't want both of us to fail in all this.
But it's really not about allocating blame. I just want to get all this behind me and just look towards the future. Problem is, there isn't really much of a future to look forward to. Tell me, what does a college undergrad, who has worked for more than ten years of his life without a single penny in savings to show for himself, and by all standards is getting a little too old and sickly for the fast-paced call center lifestyle, going to do when he finally puts down and retires his headset? Fallback? I guess I must have called in sick too on the day they taught us the meaning of the word.
I could lose my job this Tuesday, so Wednesday ought to be a very interesting day for this tired old fool.
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| So what the fuck now? |
In Retrospect
Posted in mundaneity
I was gonna do it anyway so stop nagging! I'll write that obligatory 2011 recap post! Seriously everyone, don't yell at me all at once! Seriously. Anyone?
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| Maybe next year. |
Nah, there was no clamor, no insistent public demand, not even a whisper asking me to write again. Not that I was looking for some reason or motivation to start writing again, but I just thought this blog could use some fresh reading. Yeah right, fresh.
So twenty-eleven wasn't exactly the spectacular year I was hoping it would be. If anything, last year to me was a year of comings and goings. In a sense, it was just like every other year for me. People came and went. I earned stuff, I lost stuff. I'm just grateful that I was blessed with another year, and I have to say I'm looking forward to another 365 days of adventure.
So in line with that thought, I came up with my personal up's and down's in 2011:
UP's
- Became a team lead intern and had the chance to handle my own team
- Won an HTC Surround Windows phone
- Regained some degree of athleticism by joining a basketball team
- New career-high: made three 3-pointers in one quarter for a 100% 3PT FG clip in one game.
- Met new people and built lasting friendships
DOWN's
- Zune closed
- XBox closed
- Lost above-mentioned phone
- Got separated from team mates
- Health issues resurfaced
All things considered, 2011 should have been a great year for me. I guess you really can't have it all. With that in mind, I'm looking towar 2012 with an open mind. I'm starting the year rough, what with this blood pressure at an all-time high, but I am hoping that the good balances out the bad, just like the bad evened out the good in 2011.
Yeah I didn't get that last sentence either. Nobody does.
Cyborg Me
Posted in mundaneity, subservience
John Connor has failed us all! Skynet has taken over over! The machines have taken over!
No, wait. It was just me. Sorry. We're not really going to be used as batteries for a race of sentient machines while we live in a world that we think is real, no. What? Oh, wrong movie reference.
For the next 24 hours, I will be going about my usual business with a machine strapped to my arm and waist. Yes, I have finally invented a machine that replicates superhuman strength and I have decided to test it on myself because I am strongly against animal testing. No seriously, I have what is known as an ambulatory blood pressure monitor hooked up to me, which as the name implies, is supposed to monitor my blood pressure for a duration of 24 hours.
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| They did say I looked thinner and less Asian back then. |
Wearing it feels kind of weird. The device vibrates as it silently pumps the blood pressure cuff every half hour, then the readings get saved in it's hard drive. Amazing what technology can do nowadays, right? All I have to do now is wait for the data to be collected and have my cardiologist read it tomorrow. Hopefully we can find a way to eventually bring my blood pressure down. Otherwise I may have to quit my job again. No, that would definitely not be good.
Well I'm hoping that visiting four doctors in a span of two weeks will help me finally find a solution to this hypertension deal. I'm absolutely sick of being sick. You know, if this keeps up then there's no way that I'm gonna live on to a hundred. Oh wait, these days nobody does anyway. Bah humbug.
Rain Bane
Posted in mundaneity, patheticism, subservience
Say what you want about the rain, like it being a melancholic symbol of sadness or a joyful shower of blessings from up high, for me it's the cause of my pain - at least for the past couple of days. Pain, not only because getting rained on had me shivering down to my boots and giving me the sniffles, but also because it's one heck of an inconvenience. Just when I thought I've made a hard-fought, psychological commitment to not be absent from work, this hits me. What's worse is I'm sure I'll get that angry unbelieving look from my boss again when I come back to the office. Oh boy.
On the other hand, this rain does seem fitting in a sick, cosmic kind of way. I do feel a bit disheartened, now that I had just found out that the hand I held so smoothly not so long ago had already been held by someone else. She's off the market, and the fight was over before I even had a chance. I guess it was for the better, though now I have to find some other way to keep myself going. Apparently, this dance was over ten prom nights ago.
The Dance of Fools
Posted in mundaneity, patheticism, subservience
Here we are again for another edition of the "me, me, me" show. I was thinking of writing about stuff other than my own thoughts that was actually worth reading, unlike the 11-11-11 fiasco, but I came up with zilch. Nadah. So before I post another entry about sucky calendar dates, I've decided to go back to flinging my usual rants.
Last night marked our company's first solo Christmas party ever, and I have to say that despite the fact that I didn't win a single freakin' prize in the raffle, I still had a Glam-Slamming time at the event. Well, sort of. There was a second when I found myself surrounded by friends, reveling in a night filled with crappy good food and great music, with beautiful people dancing and prancing about, and yet I felt like I have never been more alone in my entire life. I realized I miss my old friends. I know that in life, friends tend to come and go, but my creepy current dance partner sort of sucks. He's a lazy, opportunistic sonofabitch that's just as screwed up as I am, (if not more screwed up than me) which is probably why we get along. He's also one of the biggest know-it-all's on the face of the planet. Sometimes I honestly just can't stand the guy. But still, that's more than I could say for some people.
I realize the fewer friends I've got, the fewer inside comments I can squeeze into this blog, so in time nobody will ever understand this piece of literary excrement that I'm shamelessly trying to shove down their pie-holes. That also means I'll have to start writing about stuff that's rated-PG, or things that everybody will appreciate. Oh boy. To be mundane is to sin.
As usual, I'm only making sense mostly to myself again. I think I'm falling under another depression spell, and I have to find a way to get around it or else. Maybe another dance? There! Another inside comment! And despite what you might think about the photo, I still hate Twilight.
"Her hands felt smooth as silk, and her eyes sparkled against the clear night sky. We danced, and it felt like magic. Not even the cold air could keep the warmth of her touch away. But as the song faded, so did my dreams."
Eleven Hell-Heaven
Posted in mundaneity
For the believers, today is a very significant day. Today is November 11, 2011, or more commonly seen as 11/11/11. Some believe that either something very good, or something very bad will happen on this day. Well, I'm anxious to see if anything will happen at all at 11:11 PM tonight since nothing out of the ordinary happened at 11:11 AM today.
The idea that today would be some sort of magical or mystical day basically came about due to the mathematical implications of the rare date. For instance:
(2 digits) 11 x 11 = 121
(6 digits) 111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
(9 digits) 111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Geeky cool, right? For what it's worth, I believe in making my own destiny. There may be some omnipotent and unseen force controlling our actions and decisions, but ultimately we make our own decisions, we are in control of our lives. Or at least everything that we can control, we do with impunity. Stuff beyond our control is up to The Big Guy.
Bottom-line is this: There is no harm in believing in superstition as long we don't end up relying on it for major life-changing decisions. We make our own fate, and we owe it to ourselves to not let some random sequence of numbers tell us whether we are gonna be lucky or not. I don't really think there's anything special about these dates that line up in a weird and funny way, but did you notice that the number 11 appeared exactly eleven times in this post?
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| Feeling lucky tonight? |
A Chapter On Continuity
Posted in mundaneity, subservience
Guess who's back after more than five months of virtually inexcusable and painfully prolonged dormancy? Yes, this snowbird is ready to pick up his quill again and continue scribbling mental malevolence towards life, love, and anything that involves freaky little garden gnomes and low-budget Filipino movies.
As much as I would like to make up flimsy excuses for my extended absence, such as my computer belly-flopping on me, or my internet connection being severed due to a pitiful lack of funds in my Gringotts account, I will choose not to. I won't even say that I was too busy or too lazy to write, no sir. Yeah, this soldier wasn't born to make excuses. I'm just that sort of straight-up guy.
I'll have to admit, a lot of my evil schemes and ill-conceived plots fell flat in those five grueling months of inactivity. I thought my dreams of ruling over the galaxy one day had finally gotten its much needed jump start when I got promoted to a pseudo-team leader position where I handled my own team for a while. Actually, I got promoted a number of times before that. I became a subject matter expert (Whoa! I know, right!?), providing floor support to the agents on the floor. Then I became a training intern, which basically allowed me to help not just the team I was assigned to, but everyone on the floor. I knew I've always had my heart set to training people and helping them develop their potential, but life threw me a curve ball and I was promoted yet again, this time as a team leader intern.
While I enjoyed my stint as a coach, it simply was not meant to last. As I had mentioned in an earlier post, the account I was in back then folded, and I had to start from scratch all over again. At first I thought I could handle the stress of it all. I thought I got promoted once, I could do it again. It was a few weeks later when I realized that it felt like I had won the lottery, lost the money, and was trying to win the lottery all over again. It was a long and arduous climb back and I felt my work legs were already giving out. Then a funny thing happened, the new account that took us in folded too, with it's green box of fun for everyone shredded. I can still hear my inner bully's loud and meaningful guffaw.
So now I am in my third account, desperately trying to explain to some old lady why her cable bill went up this month, and I find myself again at the foot of the proverbial pyramid of hierarchy staring up at my goals. But something's different. Somehow this time the goal seems so much higher and harder to reach. I am at the brink of giving up and I don't know how much longer I can hold on. To be honest, the strain's starting to affect my already deteriorating health.
I am currently on a sabbatical, for which I am very grateful for, because I am trying out some new medication for my hypertension. The doctor panicked the other day when she took my readings, and my blood pressure shot up to 200/120, the highest it has ever gone. But this respite isn't solely for medical reasons. I know I also have to prepare myself mentally. In the next 10 days or so, I need to find a way to motivate myself. Yup, that old story again.
In the years that I have served the masters I always seem to come to a point where I get tired of the redundancies of work, and to this day I have yet to find an answer to this lack of motivation. Maybe I need some sort of therapy or job counseling. Whatever.
Anyway, this is it for now. I will write again soon. For now, please forgive this poor attempt at reviving my non-existent writing career. I'll get better, I promise.
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| Snow White never did like the way Dopey kept ogling her bazongas. |
The Z Legacy: The Season Finale
Posted in mundaneity, subservience
"The thing about a good organization is that at first you become a part of it, then it becomes a part of you."
- TL Chee Carrasco
In my not-so-illustrious 5-year-or-so career as a professional dial-a-geek, I have never been more proud to have been part of a business organization than I have been with Zune CVG. Working for the company has truly been such a great experience, and I am deeply saddened by the news that our account is pulling down the proverbial curtains. We had a great run, but as the old worn-out cliché says, all good things must come to an end. So as we get closer and closer to the final song in Zune CVG's long playlist of success, I thought I'd mention some of the things that made me appreciate how great it was to have been part of this family.
The Coolest Managers Ever
It has often been said that us front-liner's are the lifeblood of any call center. While I generally agree with that thought, I would gladly make an exception for Zune CVG. From the Team Leaders all the way up the Senior Operations Manager, I have never seen a more dedicated bunch of cool people running the show for an account. If there was a quantifiable way of measuring gratitude, with the way our managers taught us the ropes, mine would still remain immeasurable.
My Awesome Colleagues
Five generations of awesomeness best describes the friendships that were developed amongst the ranks. From Wave 1 to Wave 5, everybody was easy to get along with. Kudos to everyone for doing such a wonderful job of performing the herculean task of keeping our heads above water despite all the adversity that we've faced throughout the months. I know it has been mentioned before, but I am really proud to say that for a 6 or 7-month old group of over-achievers, we outperformed the competition who has been in the business for more than 3 years. Chin up guys, there is abso-effing-lutely nothing to be ashamed of.
The Greatest Basketball Team Ever Assembled
In the short run that our underdog of a team had in the recent sports fest, we literally ran the gauntlet. Beating 4 teams en route to the Finals, life was never easy for us. I wanna say thanks to our version of the Zen Master, Coach Gil, for making our near-Cinderella finish a reality. Oh and I made 3 out of 3 three-pointers in one game. Oh come on, you know I was gonna say it.
There are a gazillion other reasons why I think this family is awesome, but i thought it was best to keep them off-pixel and forever in my memories. I'm looking forward to making more memorable events as the days run by, but for now all I can say is that my stay with Zune CVG was a complete blast. While it is sad to say goodbye to something so awesome, it comforts me to think that we went out on top. That we are going out in style.
Turn in your pinks 'cause we're going neon green baby! See you on the other side!
Writing Blanks
Posted in mundaneity, sad thoughts
I need to write.
I know that life is a best-selling novel waiting to be written, yet I find myself staring at my computer screen for hours, with only a measly sentence to show for all my effort. Inspiration, will you ever come back? Seriously, I've heard about writer's block but I never thought it would bother me for so long. I must admit, it's been a good couple of weeks since I had the urge to write about anything. I don't know if it's my utter lack of time management skills or the fact that nothing really publish-worthy happens to my life that brings me down, but I am in a deeply depressing slump.
Passion. There's a word that I rarely get to use these days. I know that if I put my mind into it, I can write something that's worth the five seconds that people actually spend on this blog. Boy, a writer writing about his inability to write must really sound so sad. This sucks.
Maybe I should enroll in a creative writing class. Maybe I should just put my pen down and admit defeat, face the fact that I'm no writer. Maybe I ought to shift my focus towards other things, such as work or my personal life. Maybe I should just put an end to this blog.
That book that I was planning to write about my grandfather will never write itself. How am I supposed to write about another person's life when I can't even make heads or tails of my own?
I have to get over this slump. One way or another, the Stories from the Simian Crease must continue.
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Blank. Bored. Blurry. Beat. Binchee. |
Finding Time
Posted in mundaneity
Okay... so I've been off to a bad start.
I haven't been writing as often as i had wanted to. For one, I am no longer pleased by how the layout of my blog keeps self-destructing every now and then. I keep telling myself, "It's not about how it looks, it's about what you write! And rainbows and unicorns!", but just looking at the hideous distortions on the face of this blog called CSS and HTML makes me wanna hit Alt-Tab. Even Ctrl-F4 sometimes. It's not that I've lost faith in Blogger, or my profound HTML editing skills (sarcasm intended), it's just that for some odd reason I find myself running out of time, most of the time.
I own a computer shop, but I don't time myself when i use the PC. I also blame FOX and television.
Having said that, I intend to find some time to either fix this HTML dilemna / dilemma (See what I did there? I had always been taught to spell it "dilemna", and I'm positive many of you have been taught the same way too. Also, this paragraphed digression is waaay too long), or jump ship to Wordpress.
Just kidding Blogger. I'm still saving up my ten bucks to buy my custom domain. Do you have any idea how steep ten bucks is where I'm from!? Donors would be greatly appreciated folks.
I also need to find time for the other stuff that I wanna do, such as hitting the gym, finding true happiness or saving the world. It's ironic, because I had decided to drop a hefty salary for the sake of making more time for myself. I did said dropping of hefty salary and said making of more time by uprooting myself from my old job and finding employment at a conveniently much nearer locale. Indeed, travel time was cut down significantly, and almost regrettably so was my paycheck, but heck, I thought all the free time I'd get would be worth the sacrifice. Now I'm beginning to wonder where all that supposed free time went.
I'm gonna have to work on managing my time better. As soon as I find time to do that, I will.
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| All this time management makes me wanna... ...oh pukes. My shoes. |
Better Late Than... What?
Posted in mundaneity
Well this isn't exactly the new year post that I was hoping to write but as the old worn-out adage would say, better late than never.
As much as I'd want to recall everything that happened to me last year and sum up how 2010 was for me, I simply don't feel like my chemically abused brain cells are up to the task. So I'll just bullet down the most notable Stories from the Simian Crease in 2010.
I guess one of the most significant highlights of 2010 for me was the opportunity to write for a living. Though it wasn't the creative endeavor I was craving for it still more than made up for the fact that I was unemployed at the time. I sincerely appreciate the chance I was given, and if I had my way I would love to continue that sweet gig. Come on, who wouldn't want to be earning big dollars while sitting on his bum all day? Yes, dollars.
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| Time to put things in order. |
Sadly, last year wasn't all about the good and the happy stuff. There were also some dark and dank situations which I would gladly undo if I had a time machine. I got reacquainted with an old evil that had haunted me for years. For a good part of 2010 year I had been struggling to win this battle, and I'm ashamed to say that I have hardly made any headway. This year I honestly intend to kick this nasty oversight. Maybe I ought to start reading that Nic Sheff book that I've been holding on to.
So 2010 was far from being the all-out party that I wanted it to be, but hey, can't have it all now can we? I just wish 2011 brings in more opportunities for growth, peace and prosperity not just for me, but for all of us. And oh, we all grew older again. Why couldn't I just stay 19 forever?
New Year post - check.
All For A Life Well Written
Posted in feebility, mundaneity, patheticism
Am I truly a writer?
For years man had always found ways to recognize and immortalize history as it unfolded. From the dawn of human kind to the modern age of computers, from the prehistoric cave drawings and ancient sea scrolls to the Internet, man has always - albeit sometimes unreliably - been capable of keeping records of his works, his discoveries, his triumphs and defeats, and even the tiniest and seemingly most insignificant details of his life.
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| Evolution, as it really happened. |
But writing isn't just about keeping records or documenting history. While it is true that writing is an efficient way of preserving facts and the chronology of events in history, writing also happens to be one of the most enduring arts that encompasses the originality and profoundness of man's imagination. It fosters creativity and allows one to reach into the deepest recesses of his thoughts, allowing him to translate ideas and turn them into words, prose, poem or lyric, which he can then share them with an interested audience.
I looked back at some of the topics that I had written about in the Stories from the Simian Crease, and while there are a few publish-worthy material which I am proud to say are of my own imagination and creativity, I noticed that many of the posts in this humble blog centered on me and the hum drums of everyday living, being me. It made me wonder about whether I had been maintaining a blog that was actually worth publishing or is this just an online public diary that barely requires any intellect for anybody to understand. And so I pondered deeply upon that thought, and my keyboard fell silent as I stared at the steady blinking of the mouse pointer on my screen. Should I even dare continue this whimsical yet overly dramatic attempt at literary greatness, or should I just admit defeat and accept mediocrity?
Someone once told me that the greatest novel any author could ever write is the story about his life. Unfinished for most of the author's existence, his life story consists of a series of events that reaches as far back as all his childhood memories will let him, and continues up to the present. No two individuals ever waltz through the exact same sequence of events in their individual lives, and it is this individuality of experiences that assures us that our life's novel will be unique, with all the makings of an epic best-seller to boot. If it is a crime to put the seemingly mundane and worldly routines of yours truly into writing, in an effort to create my own saga - my greatest story ever told - then I say strap them old cuffs onto my wrists and lock me away for good, because I intend to continue living and writing for as long as time and inspiration allow.
I only hope that by the time the twilight of my existence looms near I shall have already written the last few chapters of my life's novel. At that time I will face those people who have helped me finish writing the story of my life, along with those whom I have helped write theirs, and ask them with all humility...
Was I truly a writer?
Punk Eye
Posted in mundaneity, subservience
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| Honey you can wash my windows any day. |
It is often said that a person's eyes are the windows to the soul. If that's true, then my soul needs some serious heavy duty window washing right now.
For two straight days I have been "down with the sickness" (say that with a growl). Those who I've told about my uncanny ability to get sick at some of the most opportune and convenient times will be able to appreciate the irony of my current situation: I honestly want to go to work but I can't because I happen to have conjunctivitis. Acting has never really been my strong suit but I sometimes do get away with it.
No, seriously, this one's real. I went to work the other night and they sent me home less than an hour later because apparently, I posed the risk of infecting everybody in the office with pinkeye. Now I am quarantined at a safe house, whose location is highly classified. In other words, I'm stuck at home again.
I honestly had no intentions of posting today, but since I was so abso-fucking-lutely bored I decided to go ahead and write anyway. After all, what's a blog without rants, right? So forgive me if this post seems less interesting than a Jinggoy Estrada movie. My red, swollen, pus-encrusted eyes are tired of staring at the screen all day.
Boy do I need a life.
Harry Potter and the Magic Tofu
Posted in mundaneity
So believe me when I say that this is a compliment - Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows wasn't as big a disappointment as I thought it would be.
I got out of work this morning and was pleasantly surprised when my friend and colleague Jie told me that one of our other co-workers, Elmer, was asking if we wanted to go see the latest installment of the Harry Potter movie series. So we went, and were part of the crowd that gathered early at the cinemas waiting to see the much anticipated movie. I have to say, apart from the usual bad casting of characters and the expected departure from the storyline, this movie didn't do so bad.
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| Not the scene I was talking about. |
There was this scene though that really bothered the behjeezus out of me. Ron had just left the group after a heated and horcrux-infused verbal tussle with Harry, and Hermione was obviously distraught. In an effort to cheer her up, Harry took her by the hand, led her up and danced with her inside their tent. I seriously don't remember reading this part of the book, where Harry danced like a faggot at a fricking gay pride parade. Once that scene hits Youtube I'll post it on my Facebook, just to make you guys laugh out loud. I've got nothing against the gay population, by the way. So please do not misquote me.
I sincerely liked that scene though, where Hermione obliviated her folks to make them forget that they even had a daughter. It was very touching.
Speaking of touching, Emma Watson looked oh so stunning. That scene where the horcrux-locket went berserk and showed Ron its corrupted version of Harry and Hermione kissing made me think about whether they did that scene entirely with computer animation or if they actually shot a scene with Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe and just edited it. Either way, evil Hermione was h-o-t.
And the trend of badly miscasted characters continued. If you thought Professor Slughorn didn't look the part in the last embarrassment of a movie, wait until you see the actors that played Rufus Scrimgeour and Pius Thicknesse. If you've read the book more than seven times like me you'll know what I mean.
Thankfully, Dobby's death was just as I imagined it would be. Rest in peace dear Dobby, a free house-elf. Just between you and me Jie, I did cry. Don't tell anyone.
So after the movie we ate, and this plate of tofu magically appeared at our table. As if some wizard conjured it up from nothing, which incidentally violates one of the basic wizarding laws.
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| Tofu, anyone? Anyone? |
I can't wait to see how well they'll do the Battle of Hogwarts. Epic or bust. Here's to waiting out another few months for the completion of the Harry Potter film series. Wingardium Leviosa!
Counting Trains
Posted in happy thoughts, mundaneity, subservience
I'm posting this now, before all my braincells stop working. I just feel too tired to write right now. Say it again, "write right". Boohoo.
Yesterday, a friend of mine celebrated her birthday. It was fun, for the most part, and it became sort of a mini-reunion for me and one my fallen colleagues. The place was near a train station, and all the revelry was held just a few feet from the tracks. No kidding, anybody who's seen Final Destination would have thought twice about sitting with us that afternoon. Every now and then, a commuter train would zip past us with horns blaring and we wouldn't have a care in the world. It was a peculiar sight, now that I think about it, to see a table full of party-goers at such an odd and potentially dangerous location. Maybe I really do love living on the edge.
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| Not the actual location, but close enough. |
Train after train passed by, and the heavy shower that drenched us hardly dampened our festive spirits. I watched as passengers and onlookers stared quizzically at us while we were throwing back glass after glass of ice-cold beer. I seriously would've stayed longer if not for the fact that I had to go to work later that night.
Yes folks, you heard right. I - the beer-guzzling gorilla from China - walked away from a party because I had to go to work. Can you believe it?
Can you spell "self discipline"?
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| The Binchee, The Captain, and The Love. |
Click START
Posted in subservience
And so the ride on this wonderful happy train continues, although somehow the journey does not feel like an entirely joyous one.
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| Start! |
Next week marks the start of me taking on new responsibilities at work, and while I humbly appreciate the trust and confidence that the powers that be have on me, I could not help but feel that this happy bullet came with a rather bitter pill to swallow.
As much as I would like to celebrate and write my name in the sky with fireworks, I can't. This blog may be fueled by witty sarcasm and powered by pure, unadulterated euphemisms, but I am completely and totally sincere about how I feel towards my friends. You see, while this faithful soldier was promoted to lieutenant, others were relegated to the sidelines. Others still, face an unknown fate. What I'm trying to say is that a personal victory feels so empty when your colleagues are unable to share in your triumph.
It's like LeBron James winning the MVP award, while he and the rest of the Cavs watch the Lakers win the championship.
I know I sound awfully selfish in this post, so please forgive me folks. I just had to let this out or else, I would've absolutely gone nuts trying to scream inwardly. For those who are reading this (thank you!) but are not part of, or are not aware of the holocaust that I am implicitly trying to refer to in this piece of trash (thank you still!), I also ask for your forgiveness. There has simply been too many personal issues in my life right now that I felt the urgent need to pull my wand out, take these memories from my head, and dump them all into my digital pensieve.
The seventh Harry Potter movie's coming out this month. Like, I know, right?
How a Couch Potato Celebrates Life
Posted in happy thoughts, mundaneity, subservience
For as long as I can remember, this small piece of Internet space has so often been my place of refuge, my fortress of solitude so to speak. This is where I dump all my pent-up emotions, mixed in with the mushy, the mundane, and the malevolent hodge-podge of feelings that this humble author experiences every now and then. And I'll say it again - often.
This time however, I am here to simply make my declaration of how awesome life is. I rarely get that feeling where I just want to climb Everest and thank God personally for giving me such a good life. I realized today that there are so many things that I should be grateful for. I have friends and family close by, and even though there are times when we don't always seem to get along, I appreciate the fact that they have stood by me through thick and thin. Right now I'm leaning towards "thick", because I just finished a bag of chips and some soda all by myself while watching Megan Fox bounce around in the desert in a dirty spaghetti strap tube top. Hello calories.
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| Things seem to be finally looking up for you now Binchee! |
Another happy bullet in my gratitude checklist is the fact that I have a job. Not only do i have a job, I am also proud to say that I seem to be in an excellent position to prove my worth and go places in this gig. For once, I can truthfully say that I love what I do for a living. I can almost hear Lady Opportunity moaning softly at my bedside.
There are so many other things that I want to thank my Creator for, but I just don't want to be splitting hairs here. I'll just sum them all up with this: I am happy to be alive. All the life experiences I've had in the past - good or bad - have brought me to where I am now, and I am just starting to appreciate that fact. If not for all the trials and dead ends that I've run into before, I wouldn't have learned how to get here in the first place. So thank you oh Omnipotent One for the gift of life, good health and free will, and for Your continuous guidance.
Whatever life had me take, I'm loving the rush right now. I gotta say, this high is so much better than what any god-forsaken drug can give, and I ain't planning on getting off this happy train just yet.
No sir, no.
Dragonflies
Posted in mundaneity, subservience
I stood there watching from atop the third floor balcony of the apartment. A swarm of dragonflies hovered playfully through the tree branches and power lines across from where I stood, while the rest of the world went about their everyday business on the busy streets below.
As I flicked the burnt cigarette butt out onto the street, I realized how high the dragonflies were flying. With nothing but their flimsy little wings propelling them, the tiny little creatures seemed to float effortlessly through the maze of tree limbs and power lines. It reminded me of how hard work and determination can propel us to those proverbial greater heights, regardless of how small we think we are in this world.
Sometimes we feel that in the grand scheme of things, we don't mean much. We can feel insignificant, unimportant. There are days when you just want to end it all and start over. Sadly, there are no take-backs and start-overs in this game. We just have to play on and keep working our way up. Then one day you look down to see how high you've flown, and the realization hits you. You are not as insignificant as you thought you were. You have talent, You have skills. You mean something in this world after all.
Sometimes we feel that in the grand scheme of things, we don't mean much. We can feel insignificant, unimportant. There are days when you just want to end it all and start over. Sadly, there are no take-backs and start-overs in this game. We just have to play on and keep working our way up. Then one day you look down to see how high you've flown, and the realization hits you. You are not as insignificant as you thought you were. You have talent, You have skills. You mean something in this world after all.
I look down and I see that I have come a long way. I light another cigarette, and take in the view.
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Stories from the Simian Crease by Binchee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.
Based on a work at binchee.blogspot.com