Showing posts with label goodbye. Show all posts

Digital Heartbreak

Posted in goodbye, netbook, paranoid, pathetic, screwed

So I have just received my final pay from the last whorehouse that I slaved for, oh joy.

More like, "oh crap".

This is another classic case of counting the chicks before the eggs hatched. How was I supposed to know they'd be cutting my back pay in half? It's a sad, irritating, double deduction. Do you know what's worse than not getting paid? It's not getting paid twice over. I'm tired of explaining things to myself over and over again, so forgive me if I'm not overly willing to make you understand what happened to my portable 8.9 inch dream. It has never sucked to be me as much as it does right now.

Oh and it gets better. I think I'm having my usual paranoid delusions again. Everyone's out for my throat. What's wrong with you people? What's wrong with me!? I have no other recourse now but to crawl back into the dark crevice that I call work. This time though, I want to be choosy. I want to look at all the angles, and not just sign up with the one with the most number of zeros scribbled on the job offer. I'm thinking of going close to home on this one. I dunno.I still want to write, though. No matter how crappy my articles are, I still think I'm good at this writing stuff. Aren't I? Talk about a confidence boost. I think I really need one right about now.

That's the end alright.

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A Phenomenologik Goodbye

Posted in family, goodbye, phenomenologik, sad thoughts, work

Is this the beginning of the end?

Today my phenomenologik friend submitted her resignation. Part of me feels sad to hear about her impending exodus, but another part of me envies her for being so close to freedom. She's been like a more responsible little sister to me and I can't help feeling mixed emotions. Oh well.

I've been on hiatus for a few weeks and for me that was as close to freedom as I could ever ask for. When I came back, things seemed very different - and not in a good way. Oh it's still the same old vicious cyclic routine work-wise, but it's a completely different story when it comes to the people I work with. I feel like I hardly know them. I feel more alone than ever.

Forgive me, I know this is more of a "dear diary" kind of thing rather than a blog post but I can't help it. I've had nobody to talk to recently, so again I resort to splashing my thoughts around in front of a faceless crowd.

I miss the old days. I miss the old people I hang with. I miss all the parties, the gigs. I miss my youth. I miss not having to worry about consequences. I miss the old me.

I really hope the next life's better than this one.

6 comments »