Whatever You Say  

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I may not be a literary genius, but I have always been writing from the heart. That's why my blog posts don't always come out as interesting to everybody as I hoped they would be. And right now I'm pretty sure this one's gonna come out as unperfect as ever, because I am again writing from the heart - which honestly needs a little fixing right now. (Cue the cheesy sad love song in the background).

I hate going into details, so I'll keep this as vague as I can. Another thing I hate is having to compete for attention. If you don't like the way I am then that's just how it goes. Some people just like to see what they want to see in someone, and not everybody's willing to accept someone else's imperfection. That much I can understand. As much as I'd hate to feel bitter about this whole situation, I can't help but feel a little hurt somewhere near the chest cavity. Must be that lasagna I ate this morning.

One thing I know though, this will not be the end of this. I'm hoping you'll read this because I can't find the courage to ask if you even want to talk to me. (pathetic, I know). Believe me, I'll understand. Let's end this, I'll listen. Whatever you say.

Screaming On The Inside.  

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As if it wasn't enough that I've been having personal career growth (or lack of) issues as of late, fate once again decides to throw in the kitchen sink and mess me up emotionally too.

I'm stuck in another one of my infamous no-win mobius strip situations and I can't seem to find my way out. Frankly, I ain't even sure if I want to get out of this mess anymore. I'm so tired of screwing up and so sick of how life screws me back. I just want to sit on the edge of a cliff for hours and just watch the stars as I listen to the calm whispers of the sea.

Then I wanna jump over the effing cliff. I'm screaming on the inside. Somebody listen to me please.

Vengeance is Not Ours, it's God's - A Declamation Piece  

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I never got to do this back in school, but I have always admired those who did this piece. I dunno, I just find it interesting, and I'm sure some of you would remember this.

Vengeance is Not Ours, it's God's

Alms, alms, alms. Spare me a piece of bread. Spare me your mercy. I am a child so young, so thin, and so ragged. Why are you staring at me? With my eyes I cannot see but I know that you are all staring at me. Why are you whispering to one another? Why? Do you know my mother? Do you know my father? Did you know me five years ago? Yes, five years of bitterness have passed. I can still remember the vast happiness mother and I shared with each other. We were very happy indeed.

Suddenly, five loud knocks were heard on the door and a deep silence ensued. Did the cruel Nippon’s discover our peaceful home? Mother ran to Father’s side pleading. “Please, Luis, hide in the cellar, there in the cellar where they cannot find you,” I pulled my father’s arm but he did not move. It seemed as though his feet were glued to the floor. The door went “bang” and before us five ugly beasts came barging in. “Are you Captain Luis Santos?” roared the ugliest of them all. “Yes,” said my father. “You are under arrest,” said one of the beasts. They pulled father roughly away from us. Father was not given a chance to bid us goodbye.

We followed them mile after mile. We were hungry and thirsty. We saw a group of Japanese eating. Oh, how our mouths watered seeing the delicious fruits they were eating, Then suddenly, we heard a voice call, “Consuelo…… Oscar…… Consuelo…… Oscar…… Consu... …… Oscar……” we ran towards the direction of the voice, but it was too late. We saw father hanging on a tree…… dead. Oh, it was terrible. He had been badly beaten before he died……and I cried vengeance, vengeance, vengeance! Everything went black. The next thing I knew I was nursing my poor invalid mother.

One day, we heard the church bell ringing “ding-dong, ding-dong!” It was a sign for us to find a shelter in our hide-out, but I could not leave my invalid mother, I tried to show her the way to the hide-out.

Suddenly, bombs started falling; airplanes were roaring overhead, canyons were firing from everywhere. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Mother was hit. Her legs were shattered into pieces. I took her gently in my arms and cried, “I’ll have vengeance, vengeance!” “No, Oscar. Vengeance, it is God’s,” said mother.

But I cried out vengeance. I was like a pent-up volcano. “Vengeance is mine not the Lord’s”. “No, Oscar. Vengeance is not ours, it’s God’s” these were the words from my mother before she died.

Mother was dead and I was blind. Vengeance is not ours? To forgive is divine but vengeance is sweeter.

That was five years ago, five years…… Alms, alms, alms. Spare me a piece of bread. Spare me your mercy. I am a child so young, so thin, and so ragged. Vengeance is not ours, it is God’s... It’s... God’s... It's...

Good Times Lemonade  

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Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons make lemonade.

Cliche, I know. But that's exactly how I feel right now. Those who have read my previous posts (yes Bob, you) know what I went through the last couple of months in my chosen career.

I endured the not-so-happy experience of getting promoted, then being bounced around different departments, and ending up having to move to a different company altogether and being relegated to my previous position. I know it's been 4 wonderful years since I started out in the business. A little sad yes, because after 4 long years I'm back to where I started.

But the optimist inside me tells me that it's really not so bad. Besides, those were 4 years of employment. I look around me and I see that not everyone was as lucky as I was.

Some people spent the last 4 years of their lives on the streets. Those a little more fortunate spent the last 4 years at home, unemployed, while taking care of 6 or 7 children. Some even spent their time in jail. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not finding consolation in other people's misfortunes. I am merely trying to say that I have absolutely no right to complain.

Maybe we all just need to make lemonade.



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Stories from the Simian Crease by Binchee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.
Based on a work at binchee.blogspot.com