From Cab Rides And Broken Hearts  

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"I just don't see myself liking you anytime soon."

It's pathetic how I keep getting into these types of situations. This is usually the part where I insert cheesy lines and cliches about that cruel thing called love, but not this time. Right now all I feel is anger and pity. Sadly, I have the pity gun pointed at my temple, cocked, locked and ready to pull the trigger. If there's one person to blame for all this pain and suffering it's me.

But was I wrong? All I did was be honest about it. Was it really my fault? If loving and caring about somebody is a crime, then lock me up and throw away the gawdamn keys officer. I'm tired of having to pick up the pieces every time this happens. I want to disappear. I want to stay as far away from you as possible. But there's no greater distance than when I'm right next to you and you don't even see how I feel. Sorry, cheese just gushed out of my eye sockets.

Here comes the sarcasm. One day I'm gonna learn how to write sans consequence, without having to worry about who can read my posts. Maybe then everything will start making sense to me. Look, I'm sorry if I'm not good enough for you. This is just how I am. If you couldn't accept that and look beyond the physical then maybe you're not as ideal as I thought you were.

Forgive me, I just had to vent. Maybe I need a therapist. Maybe I need a good lay. Maybe I need a bottle of beer. Too many maybe's. Life is full of uncertainties.

One thing though is clear to me now. We don't deserve each other. I don't deserve this. Boy, these grapes are sour. Hopefully this ends here. Fuck this, screw hope. I'm ending this now.

By the way, that picture of an MGE taxi that transforms into a big robot had absolutely nothing to do with this post.

2 comments

i can't think of something sensible to tell you as these yadda yadda freaks at my back are frackin' annoying (i'm using the lobby pc while typing this) so i'll just copy-paste a line from my ssdd.i.ph post:

"This is the ultimate rule of love - if the person you love bids you adieu, in spite of everything you tried to make HER change HER will, then never hesitate to let go. Even if your world suddenly becomes ruined. Even if your being inevitably collapses. Even if your world crumbles. Because it is HER wish. It is HER ardent desire. If it will be the only thing that will bring HER happiness, who are you to hold it?"

Its the ultimate cosmic joke; when the only way you can make someone happy is to let HER go. Normally I would completely agree with that particular rule, but in this case I'm also doing it for 2 rather selfish reasons - my sanity and my health. Honestly, if I let her break my heart one more time I'm afraid I may no longer be able to piece it back together again. And I realized it's kinda hard to continue one's existence without a heart. Or cheese. Sheesh.

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Stories from the Simian Crease by Binchee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.
Based on a work at binchee.blogspot.com